Jake’s good friend Robin Gieseler Stops by to talk about his trip to Brazil where he studied Jiu Jitsu, training with the world famous Gracie Jiu Jitsu family, and UFC 196 featuring Conor McGregor vs. Nate Diaz.
Brian jameson hosts a popular morning radio show in Florida. He stops by to talk Florida, Dogs trained to tweak, and going to a donkey show in Mexico City! Also, Travel Photographer Greg James stops by to talk Cuba, Southeast Asia, and Columbia.
TK Mattison KILLED it on Byron Allen’s “Comic’s Unleashed” and now he stops by to talk about a few tales from his road gigs. Also, Sue Bump was diagnosed with cancer. She decided that the way to defeat it was with humor. And it worked! Also: Music by THE MIDAS. (themidas.org)
You think shit is weird now? Wait til the space aliens land. It’s going to be crazy. We are going to look pretty bad I think. I can just see it. The little green men step off of their spacecraft and greet the world.
“Greetings Earthlings! We come from a galaxy billions of lightyears away in this ship we built that moves faster than light and sound. Show us some of your amazing technology!!”
And I will be like…
“Uh… this is the Fleshlight. We think it’s pretty cool.”
The aliens will be disappointed. “Surely you have something greater than this silly device??”
And I will be all like “Um. No. We really don’t. This thing is pretty good. No… Wait! That’s right. We do have the Slapchop and the Snuggy!”
And the aliens will board their ship and go home. And thank God. We don’t want the aliens here. Believe me. Black and white cant even get along and you want to go throwing green in the mix? You’re crazy. Plus, who knows what kind of crazy space disease they might have? You think herpes sounds bad? Try space herpes. No way. I’m not having sex with a space alien. I’m sorry.
Well I like to try to make my blog informative as often as I can and I think I hit the mark pretty good on this one. Please subscribe.
If you ever watch professional poker tournaments on television you might have seen someone nursing a small stack of chips and in big trouble. It’s right about then that you hear one of the announcers say “He’s got a short stack, but all you need is a chip and a chair!”
It’s an interesting saying. I found out that this saying was created because of a man named Jack Straus. Jack Straus was a professional poker player that won the World Series of Poker back in 1982. At one point in the tournament, Jack had gotten a bad run of cards and ended up with just one chip left. The other poker players joked with him about it and everyone pretty much wrote him off. They were all sure that Straus could not come back and win with only one chip left. He was done for.
Or so they thought. Jack was indeed in trouble. But did he give up? NO. He refused to give up. He refused to fail. He didn’t get rattled. He played his game and he ended up coming back to win the most high profile poker tournament on the entire planet. He earned his World Series gold bracelet and joined an elite class of players. Why? Because he never gave up. Things may have looked bad when he looked down at that pitiful looking little lonely ass chip. But he had been in games before where things looked bad and he had turned it around. He knew that even though he had just one chip, HE WAS STILL IN THE GAME.
So just remember that when things look bad, you are still here. You are still breathing. You still have a heart beating in your chest. You still have a chip! You are still in the game, baby!! You can still turn things around and win!
So the next time things look bad for you, and you think your life is over, the next time you feel that all hope is lost, the next time, God forbid you feel suicidal… just remember Ol’ Jack Straus. The man who the phrase was named after.
ALL YOU NEED IS A CHIP AND A CHAIR.
I’m sick and tired of bacon getting a bum rap.
I read a study recently that says bacon is bad for you. Oh gee, what a study! You know what? I’m sick of bacon getting such a bum rap. People need to stop talking shit about it. Bacon is the greatest. Stupid scientists! Go study cancer or something important. No, they did a “study” on bacon. I got a study for ya. Why don’t you do a study on why scientists are studying BACON and not something IMPORTANT. Like Multiple Sclerosis or why people like techno music. There’s a mystery for you.
My Grandmother ate bacon twice a day she lived to be 175 years old. Next thing ya know they will tell ya that FUN is bad for me. I just read an article that said hot dogs are bad for you also. Boulderdash. I been eating hotdogs forever. I’m alive! You know what I do? I take hot dogs, and I wrap them in bacon. YOLO.
These people are destroying our country with their stupid attacks on bacon. If ISIS ever catches me and says they will kill me if I do not submit, I’d let them kill me. I could never be in any religion that is not down with bacon. They must be out of their minds. What kind of people hate BACON?? I’d say “Call me Ichabod Crane then. Go ahead and chop my head off.” And then I’d pray someone came along and stuffed bacon down my bloody hole. Because I love it. I will never turn my back on bacon. Bacon is what life is all about. you have to enjoy yourself, folks. And if you are not eating bacon, believe me, you are not enjoying yourself.
Here is a quick holiday tip.
It’s a beautiful day when you take the wife or girlfriend and kids to go pick out a Christmas tree. You cant beat the excited feeling you get when you get home and cut the string so that you can pull the tree off of the car’s roof and carry it into the house. Before you do, make sure you go to the bathroom. I learned this the hard way. It ends up that those Christmas trees are covered in a sticky sap. Super sticky. As in “you can wash your hands thirty seven times and they will still be sticky as hell” sticky. I tried everything. Alcohol, Lava soap. Everything. My hands were still sticky. Then I went to go take a piss and my dick got stuck to my hand. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have to call 911 to tell them that your dick is stuck to your hand? Well it isn’t fun. I can tell you that.
So before you pull that tree off of your car’s roof and into the house… GO TO THE BATHROOM.
You’re welcome everybody! And Merry Christmas!
I did a stand up gig with my friend Homer Hodge not too long ago. He is a good guy that does a lot of charity work to raise money for kids. I helped him out on one of his fundraising projects one night and I decided to bring my uncle Larry with me. Larry is a mean son of a gun when it comes to playing guitar, singing, son writing, acting, comedy, and just about any kind of creative work. At the end of my show sometimes Larry and I will pull the guitars out and play a few tunes. People seem to really like it.
A lot of fun things happened that night and I caught them on camera so I decided to share it. I caught a minute or two of Larry playing a beautiful song he wrote during sound check which was pretty cool, and I also got some footage of something that went down between me and a member of the audience that decided to heckle me by yelling out that he thought I had a camel toe. Which is weird, because I do, but how did he know? I was wearing baggy pants. Did he have X ray vision? I’m not sure. Anyway, here is a clip from that fun night down in southern Ohio:
I hope you enjoy it!
Ok here it is. I have a friend named Greg James who has a heart of gold. He spends a lot of time traveling as a professional photographer. He shoots celebrities like J-Lo for example on a regular basis. A few years back, he took a trip to Southeast Asia and fell in love with the country. He was disturbed though. He noticed crippling poverty and a high number of orphans that have no money, food, or much of anything. That’s when Greg decided that he wanted to make a difference.
As a comedian/actor I get to travel to a lot of amazing places and I can tell you that I personally have been to Cambodia and seen exactly what Greg was talking about when he said that there were people there that needed help. Our poverty in the United States is a cakewalk compared to the poverty there. They do need help.
So here is your chance to make a real difference. Greg is spending December in Cambodia and he has raised enough money to buy clothes and toys for a huge number of these kids this holiday season. Greg James is taking donations large and small and he will send you something cool back. You have my word that Greg James will spend every penny on the kids and he’s even in the middle of helping to open a school over there to teach these kids English. English is a one way ticket out of poverty to a youth in Cambodia. Any donation makes a huge difference because the dollar is strong in Cambodia and you can rest easy knowing that you did a good deed.
You can contact Greg James at GregJamesPhotographer@gmail.com
Here is his webpage: http://www.gregjamesphoto.com
Here is how you can add him on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Greg-James-Photographer-261917973849925/
Please help if you can. He’s a good dude doing a good deed.
I have a real love hate relationship with Los Angeles. It’s hard not to. It’s a bittersweet town. The kind of place where you can feel 100 feet tall one minute and an inch tall the next. You might sign a deal and get famous enough to buy a brand new Cadillac. But when you go to drive it the next day don’t be surprised if some homeless crackhead took a shit on it.
One night you might look up at the stars on the beaches of Malibu and have a genuine moment of enlightenment. The next night you might find yourself being stabbed by a guy with tattoos on his face. You just never know! But over all, it’s an incredible town where you really do never know what’s going to happen next.
Tonight was a good night. I was shooting a project at a club called The Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach. The name is fitting because it really is a magical place. Right off the beach. You can see the water from the club. Classy place too. Always a good lineup of comedians and has great food and drinks. I could not believe I was getting paid to be there. On top of that, the shoot went GREAT and my friend Michael Loftus KILLED IT on stage. We were taping an episode of his show “The Flip Side with Michael Loftus” and the crowd was on fire. So was Loftus. Some of the most well written material I’ve ever seen a comedian do onstage and I’m not just saying that because I helped write and produce it. I mean it, man. I met some cool new people along the way.
There are a lot of things not to be missed if you are visiting Los Angeles. The Walk of Fame, the Hollywood Sign, the freaks on Venice Beach, DisneyLand, Mercado Restaurant, the Chinese Theater, Santa Monica 3rd Street Promenade, Zuma Beach, I could go on and on. Well, go ahead and put the Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa on that list.
I had a blast! Tonight was one of the good nights in Los Angeles.