I’m sick and tired of bacon getting a bum rap.
I read a study recently that says bacon is bad for you. Oh gee, what a study! You know what? I’m sick of bacon getting such a bum rap. People need to stop talking shit about it. Bacon is the greatest. Stupid scientists! Go study cancer or something important. No, they did a “study” on bacon. I got a study for ya. Why don’t you do a study on why scientists are studying BACON and not something IMPORTANT. Like Multiple Sclerosis or why people like techno music. There’s a mystery for you.
My Grandmother ate bacon twice a day she lived to be 175 years old. Next thing ya know they will tell ya that FUN is bad for me. I just read an article that said hot dogs are bad for you also. Boulderdash. I been eating hotdogs forever. I’m alive! You know what I do? I take hot dogs, and I wrap them in bacon. YOLO.
These people are destroying our country with their stupid attacks on bacon. If ISIS ever catches me and says they will kill me if I do not submit, I’d let them kill me. I could never be in any religion that is not down with bacon. They must be out of their minds. What kind of people hate BACON?? I’d say “Call me Ichabod Crane then. Go ahead and chop my head off.” And then I’d pray someone came along and stuffed bacon down my bloody hole. Because I love it. I will never turn my back on bacon. Bacon is what life is all about. you have to enjoy yourself, folks. And if you are not eating bacon, believe me, you are not enjoying yourself.