You think shit is weird now? Wait til the space aliens land. It’s going to be crazy. We are going to look pretty bad I think. I can just see it. The little green men step off of their spacecraft and greet the world.

“Greetings Earthlings! We come from a galaxy billions of lightyears away in this ship we built that moves faster than light and sound. Show us some of your amazing technology!!”

And I will be like…

“Uh… this is the Fleshlight. We think it’s pretty cool.”

The aliens will be disappointed. “Surely you have something greater than this silly device??”

And I will be all like “Um. No. We really don’t. This thing is pretty good. No… Wait! That’s right. We do have the Slapchop and the Snuggy!”

And the aliens will board their ship and go home. And thank God. We don’t want the aliens here. Believe me. Black and white cant even get along and you want to go throwing green in the mix? You’re crazy. Plus, who knows what kind of crazy space disease they might have? You think herpes sounds bad? Try space herpes. No way. I’m not having sex with a space alien. I’m sorry.

Well I like to try to make my blog informative as often as I can and I think I hit the mark pretty good on this one. Please subscribe.