Here is a quick holiday tip.
It’s a beautiful day when you take the wife or girlfriend and kids to go pick out a Christmas tree. You cant beat the excited feeling you get when you get home and cut the string so that you can pull the tree off of the car’s roof and carry it into the house. Before you do, make sure you go to the bathroom. I learned this the hard way. It ends up that those Christmas trees are covered in a sticky sap. Super sticky. As in “you can wash your hands thirty seven times and they will still be sticky as hell” sticky. I tried everything. Alcohol, Lava soap. Everything. My hands were still sticky. Then I went to go take a piss and my dick got stuck to my hand. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have to call 911 to tell them that your dick is stuck to your hand? Well it isn’t fun. I can tell you that.
So before you pull that tree off of your car’s roof and into the house… GO TO THE BATHROOM.
You’re welcome everybody! And Merry Christmas!